http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religions.html
C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world
is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can't
convert into it - you're either into it from the start, or you will
think that it's insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are
willing to blame the problems of the world on it.
Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it's theoretically based
on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn't feel like
the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules,
which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not
only are they certain that it's the best language in the world, but
they're willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.
PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web
market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that
it really likes. Maybe it's not as coherent as other languages, but at
least it leaves you with much more freedom and ostensibly keeps the
core idea of the whole thing. Also, the whole concept of "goto hell"
was abandoned.
C++ would be Islam - It takes C and not only keeps all its laws, but
adds a very complex new set of laws on top of it. It's so versatile
that it can be used to be the foundation of anything, from great
atrocities to beautiful works of art. Its followers are convinced that
it is the ultimate universal language, and may be angered by those who
disagree. Also, if you insult it or its founder, you'll probably be
threatened with death by more radical followers.
C# would be Mormonism - At first glance, it's the same as Java, but at
a closer look you realize that it's controlled by a single corporation
(which many Java followers believe to be evil), and that many
theological concepts are quite different. You suspect that it'd
probably be nice, if only all the followers of Java wouldn't
discriminate so much against you for following it.
Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no
centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire
universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough
to grasp it. Some say that it's not a language at all; others say that
it's the only language that makes sense.
Haskell would be Taoism - It is so different from other languages that
many people don't understand how can anyone use it to produce anything
useful. Its followers believe that it's the true path to wisdom, but
that wisdom is beyond the grasp of most mortals.
Erlang would be Hinduism - It's another strange language that doesn't
look like it could be used for anything, but unlike most other modern
languages, it's built around the concept of multiple simultaneous
deities.
Perl would be Voodoo - An incomprehensible series of arcane
incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt
your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task
at 21:00 on friday night.
Lua would be Wicca - A pantheistic language that can easily be adapted
for different cultures and locations. Its code is very liberal, and
allows for the use of techniques that might be described as magical by
those used to more traditional languages. It has a strong connection
to the moon.
Ruby would be Neo-Paganism - A mixture of different languages and
ideas that was beaten together into something that might be identified
as a language. Its adherents are growing fast, and although most
people look at them suspiciously, they are mostly well-meaning people
with no intention of harming anyone.
Python would be Humanism: It's simple, unrestrictive, and all you need
to follow it is common sense. Many of the followers claim to feel
relieved from all the burden imposed by other languages, and that they
have rediscovered the joy of programming. There are some who say that
it is a form of pseudo-code.
COBOL would be Ancient Paganism - There was once a time when it ruled
over a vast region and was important, but nowadays it's almost dead,
for the good of us all. Although many were scarred by the rituals
demanded by its deities, there are some who insist on keeping it alive
even today.
APL would be Scientology - There are many people who claim to follow
it, but you've always suspected that it's a huge and elaborate prank
that got out of control.
LOLCODE would be Pastafarianism - An esoteric, Internet-born belief
that nobody really takes seriously, despite all the efforts to develop
and spread it.
Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don't REALLY need to
sell your soul to be a Satanist...
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:59:42 -0800, smallpond wrote:
> FORTRAN would be ancient Roman myth. You can build an empire with it,
> but only
> if you were raised by wolves.
Then what is f2cl? The Silk Road? :-)
Tamas
On Dec 17, 5:51 am, Slobodan Blazeski <·················@gmail.com>
wrote:
> http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religion...
>
> Perl would be Voodoo - An incomprehensible series of arcane
> incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt
> your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task
> at 21:00 on friday night.
>
> APL would be Scientology - There are many people who claim to follow
> it, but you've always suspected that it's a huge and elaborate prank
> that got out of control.
I think the description of Scientology fits Perl better. APL reminds
me more of Zoroastrianism -- a gentle old religion, now pretty much
forgotten.
And Voodoo? Sounds to me like Prolog :)
-- Scott
From: Matthias Buelow
Subject: Re: SPAM: If programming languages were religions...
Date:
Message-ID: <6qsslfFdmhofU1@mid.dfncis.de>
Scott Burson wrote:
> APL reminds
> me more of Zoroastrianism -- a gentle old religion, now pretty much
> forgotten.
I think Modula is like Zoroastrianism; always a bit of a rather unknown
side thing, with a few fervent believers, pretty old (if you include its
Pascal heritage), yet influential in some core ideas on some newer
languages (like Java).
Slobodan Blazeski <·················@gmail.com> writes:
> Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no
> centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire
> universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough
> to grasp it. Some say that it's not a language at all; others say that
> it's the only language that makes sense.
Except that Bhuddism does have a pantheon of deities and they are
worshipped. What does everybody think those bhudda statues are?
Decoration?
It's a religion and is just as superstitious.
On Dec 17, 9:04 am, J Kenneth King <·····@agentultra.com> wrote:
> Slobodan Blazeski <·················@gmail.com> writes:
> > Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no
> > centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire
> > universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough
> > to grasp it. Some say that it's not a language at all; others say that
> > it's the only language that makes sense.
>
> Except that Bhuddism does have a pantheon of deities and they are
> worshipped. What does everybody think those bhudda statues are?
> Decoration?
>
> It's a religion and is just as superstitious.
Mainstream Buddhism perhaps, but Zen is not about worshipping
anything. Famous old Zen saying: "If you meet the Buddha on the road,
kill him!"
-- Scott
J Kenneth King <·····@agentultra.com> writes:
> Slobodan Blazeski <·················@gmail.com> writes:
>
>> Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no
>> centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire
>> universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough
>> to grasp it. Some say that it's not a language at all; others say that
>> it's the only language that makes sense.
>
> Except that Bhuddism does have a pantheon of deities and they are
> worshipped. What does everybody think those bhudda statues are?
> Decoration?
>
> It's a religion and is just as superstitious.
Sorry, "Buddhism" and "buddhas."
"Since the time of the Buddha, the refutation of the existence of a
creator has been seen as a key point in distinguishing Buddhist from
non-Buddhist views. Buddhism is usually considered a religion, but is
also commonly described as a "spiritual philosophy", since it
generally lacks an Absolute creator god" <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
God_in_Buddhism>
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:23:38 -0800 (PST), ··········@gmail.com wrote:
>"Since the time of the Buddha, the refutation of the existence of a
>creator has been seen as a key point in distinguishing Buddhist from
>non-Buddhist views. Buddhism is usually considered a religion, but is
>also commonly described as a "spiritual philosophy", since it
>generally lacks an Absolute creator god" <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
>God_in_Buddhism>
Most religions have elaborate descriptions of a spiritual existence
after death. Buddhism speaks almost exclusively about how to live a
virtuous life and says very little about what may follow.
Many (most?) religious scholars consider Buddhism to be a philosophy.
I hadn't heard of Pastafarianism ... the FSM looks a bit like
Cthulhu's little brother.
George
··········@gmail.com writes:
> since [Bhuddism]
> generally lacks an Absolute creator god" <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Doesn't this rule it out as an analog for Lisp? We clearly have John McCarthy.
--
Thomas A. Russ, USC/Information Sciences Institute
On 18 dic, 16:10, ····@sevak.isi.edu (Thomas A. Russ) wrote:
> ··········@gmail.com writes:
> > since [Bhuddism]
> > generally lacks an Absolute creator god" <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
>
> Doesn't this rule it out as an analog for Lisp? We clearly have John McCarthy.
>
No, it's perfect. John McCarthy is the Bhudda of lisp, but you are not
supposed to worship him. He just discovered the path.
Mariano
On Dec 18, 7:10 pm, ····@sevak.isi.edu (Thomas A. Russ) wrote:
> ··········@gmail.com writes:
> > since [Bhuddism]
> > generally lacks an Absolute creator god" <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
>
> Doesn't this rule it out as an analog for Lisp? We clearly have John McCarthy.
Please compare Lisp to Hindu god Ganesha:
http://www.paavani.in/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/ganesha_symbolism_1.gif
>
> --
> Thomas A. Russ, USC/Information Sciences Institute
From: Dimiter "malkia" Stanev
Subject: Re: SPAM: If programming languages were religions...
Date:
Message-ID: <giejiq$sf0$1@malkia.motzarella.org>
> Please compare Lisp to Hindu god Ganesha:
>
> http://www.paavani.in/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/ganesha_symbolism_1.gif
He's lambdatious!
From: Stanisław Halik
Subject: Re: SPAM: If programming languages were religions...
Date:
Message-ID: <giqtju$2nie$2@opal.icpnet.pl>
thus spoke J Kenneth King <·····@agentultra.com>:
>> Lisp would be Zen Buddhism - There is no syntax, there is no
>> centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire
>> universe is there at your reach - if only you are enlightened enough
>> to grasp it. Some say that it's not a language at all; others say that
>> it's the only language that makes sense.
> Except that Bhuddism does have a pantheon of deities and they are
> worshipped. What does everybody think those bhudda statues are?
> Decoration?
The irony being that Siddhartha never wish being ascended to the role of
a god. As always, religion has a "philosophical" side and a "tribal"
side, with selling of blessing and erection of golden statues. "Eastern"
religions become more popular in the West by downplaying their "tribal"
side and vice versa. Christianity supposedly also has a rich
philosophical tradition. And there's status-quo part of religions, like
Hinduist justification of the caste system.
It's just something I've read, don't take it for empirical knowledge.
> It's a religion and is just as superstitious.
True, but maybe a core not depending on untestable explanations of
phenomena can be distilled. Perhaps Siddhartha took the reincarnation
stuff in to avoid pissing off the Hinduist establishment.
--
Nawet świnka wejdzie na drzewo kiedy jest chwalona.
On Dec 23, 7:46 pm, Stanis³aw Halik <··············@tehran.lain.pl>
wrote:
> And there's status-quo part of religions, like
> Hinduist justification of the caste system.
>
I doubt if Hinduism ever justified the caste system. The upper classes
considered them axiomatic and the lower classes could not do anything
against it without breaking traditions and superstitions they were
born and brought up with.
I learnt recently that in some parts of India, Christianity seems to
have inherited some kind of a caste system, which was a surprise to
me.
Still, as an atheist, I agree with Scott. Certain subsets of Buddhism
would be quite similar to atheism, which fits the description of lisp
in the original mail
Regards
Gautham
From: Kaz Kylheku
Subject: Re: SPAM: If programming languages were religions...
Date:
Message-ID: <20090102132415.475@gmail.com>
On 2008-12-17, Slobodan Blazeski <·················@gmail.com> wrote:
> http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religions.html
>
> C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world
> is familiar with its laws and respects them.
Nope, C would be Roman Catholicism. Why? Because everyone pays lips service
to the ANSI standard, but they don't actually read it, and engage in undefined
behavior left and right.
In any nontrivial C program out in the real world for which you can obtain
source code, you can find things that are not blessed by ANSI C.
The ``popes'' and ``bishops'' of C programming try to reach the masses with
sermons that cry out for the abolishment of these practices in favor of
conforming code, but in doing so only alienate much of the flock.
On Dec 17, 5:51 am, Slobodan Blazeski <·················@gmail.com>
wrote:
> http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religion...
> C would be Judaism -
> convert into it -
> Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity -
> PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity -
> C++ would be Islam -
> C# would be Mormonism -
> Lisp would be Zen Buddhism -
> universe is there at your reach -
> Haskell would be Taoism -
> Erlang would be Hinduism -
> Perl would be Voodoo -
> Lua would be Wicca -
> Ruby would be Neo-Paganism -
> people look at them suspiciously, they are mostly well-meaning people
> it is a form of pseudo-code.
> COBOL would be Ancient Paganism -
> APL would be Scientology -
> LOLCODE would be Pastafarianism -
> Visual Basic would be Satanism -
Yeah?
You don't know no shit about religion.
fuck you with your mother fucking STUPID computer languages religion
humor.
How curious that this thread is now 15 posts and none of the usual
fucking topicality sensitive troll crying regulars here cries about
off-topicality.
Now, let me give some references to make this thread properly off
topic, yet socially significant.
• Why I'm not a Christian
http://xahlee.org/Periodic_dosage_dir/_p2/why_not_christian.html
• Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization?
http://xahlee.org/p/religion_Russell.html
• Li Ao on Tibet and Dalai Lama
http://xahlee.org/Periodic_dosage_dir/tibet.html
• Scientology and Falun Gong
http://xahlee.org/Periodic_dosage_dir/t2/scientology_falun_gong.html
• Abrahamic Religions as Aggressive Cults
http://xahlee.org/Periodic_dosage_dir/t1/scripture.html
PS look at the what the Westener morons have to say about buddhism in
this thread. Quite laughable.
Xah
∑ http://xahlee.org/
☄
Xah Lee wrote:
>
> fuck you with your mother fucking STUPID computer languages religion
> humor.
>
Fuck you and your shit Chinese propaganda. I have never seen such a
twisted justification for the atrocious crimes against the Tibetan
people. Your entire being has been scrubbed clean of all human
empathy and compassion. Take your DEMENTED SHIT elsewhere, you
fucking loon.
Alex Mizrahi wrote:
> and you know nothing about programming languages, so, you see, it's ok
Please you peruse:
• Xah's Emacs Lisp Tutorial
http://xahlee.org/emacs/elisp.html
• Xah's Perl and Python Tutorial
http://xahlee.org/perl-python/index.html
• Java Tutorial
http://xahlee.org/java-a-day/java.html
• DHTML Tutorial
http://xahlee.org/js/js.html
• Introduction to 3D Geometry Programing
http://xahlee.org/3d/index.html
Xah
∑ http://xahlee.org/
☄
From: Stanisław Halik
Subject: Re: SPAM: If programming languages were religions...
Date:
Message-ID: <giquet$2nie$3@opal.icpnet.pl>
thus spoke Xah Lee <······@gmail.com>:
> You don't know no shit about religion.
> fuck you with your mother fucking STUPID computer languages religion
> humor.
Why the sudden outburst despite being an atheist in conformance with
Party's [1] wishes? Is the Party wishing for such displays of vulgarity
as well?
[1] The inerrant embodiment of the will of the People.
--
Nawet świnka wejdzie na drzewo kiedy jest chwalona.