;; OS Version
(defvar os_version "ME") ;; ME == More Errors :)
;; Starts Windows.
(defun start_windows ()
(ignore-errors (%start_windows))) ;; There features not
;; errors.
;; (c) 2003 Micro$haft Corp.
(defun %start_windows ()
(prog ;; Windows Programs have excellent control
;; design.
:start_win ;; Looks like assembler.
;;Windows Does not GC.
(win::turnof-GC)
;; Micro$haft wants you to only buy M$ $hit
(win::trash-compitors-programs)
;; 50% of the time you get a nice blue screen.
(if (<= (random 10) 5)
;; show user nice blue screen
(win::display-blue-screen-of-death)
;; flash HD lights for user enjoyment.
(win::flash-drive-lights))
;; Trash & Thrash HDs
(win::write-random-junk-to-disk)
;; Trash & Thrash RAM
(win::write-random-junk-to-ram)
;; Repeat crapy load process.
;; Note: Stack will never overflow; windows will
;; destroy system first. :)
(go :start-win)
;; The user will never see this.
(prog2
(win::display-task-bar)
(win::display-desktop))))
;; Window's would make a crappy Lisp OS.
;; M$ would make a crappy Lisp Compiler.
;; Let's trash this users system.
;; I mean let's start windows on this users machine.
(start_windows)
;; If a Lispm Hacker try's to start Windows by
;; calling win::display-task-bar or win::display-desktop
;; directly he's in for some more Micro$haft $urprizes(r)
(defun win::display-task-bar ()
(win::distort-display) ;; You'll like what you see :)
(win::turnoff-mouse) ;; The cat ate the mouse.
(win::turnoff-keyboard) ;; Just hit the computer
;; and it might work.
(prog
:annoy-the-user
;; Let the user know windows is running.
(win::play-annoying-beep-sound)
(go :annoy-the-user))) ;; Self Documenting.
(defun win::display-desktop ()
(format t "~%If you run out of Stack Space, It's time to
update window$.") ;; Get the user to buy
;; another.
(win::display-desktop) ;; Wow -- Micro$haft uses
;; Recusion -- stolen from
;; Xerox or Apple but
;; Shitified by M$ scriptKidies.
(format t "~%Welcom to Windoz>") ;; Typical
;; of micro$haft checking.
(sleep 1000) ;; Windows main body loop.
(win::%format-all-hard-drives)) ;; Remind the user
;; why windows sucks.
;; Pleaz Contribute more Windoz code so Billy Boy
;; does not have 2 write an other line.
> (defun win::display-desktop ()
> (if (= (random 100) 58) nil) ;; Small chance that wildows will
run --
> ;; & Hard Drive will be
cooked. :)
> (format t "~%If you run out of Stack Space, It's time to
> update window$.") ;; Get the user to buy
> ;; another.
> (win::display-desktop) ;; Wow -- Micro$haft uses
> ;; Recusion -- stolen from
> ;; Xerox or Apple but
> ;; Shitified by M$ scriptKidies.
> (format t "~%Welcom to Windoz>") ;; Typical
> ;; of micro$haft checking.
> (sleep 1000) ;; Windows main body loop.
> (win::%format-all-hard-drives)) ;; Remind the user
> ;; why windows sucks.
;; Now Thank Bill G--& kiss your hard drive goodby.