From: Jeffrey Jacobs
Subject: Insults (was FORTRAN, ADA)
Date: 
Message-ID: <4789@well.UUCP>
In ···@PT.CS.CMU.EDU, my good buddy Rob writes:

>Eeeeee-hah!  What fun!  Even MMister JJacobs has crawled back on the net, 
>dragging his odious slime-trail behind him

I appreciate the quick reminder of the high level of discourse on this network.
I get spoiled by polite conversation on the other networks...

And Skef Whorley writes :

>Well, I see it's time for JJJJacob's semi-annual Common Lisp flame.  Rob
>did a good job with this guy last time, but is sitting this round out.

The last time Rob "took care of me", he sent me one of my all time favorite 
anti-CL memorabilia, composed by none other than Skef Whorley!
It certainly bears reviving...

________________________________________________

                             Common LISP
                (to the tune of Dylan's "Maggie's Farm")

I ain't gonna hack on Common LISP no more,
I ain't gonna hack on Common LISP no more.
See, it was spawned from MACLISP,
And then they threw in Scheme,
And now everybody's made it
"just a little" short of clean.
The language specification is insane.

I ain't gonna hack on Guy Steele's LISP no more,
I ain't gonna hack on Guy Steele's LISP no more.
When you mail him a question,
And then wait for a reply,
Well you can sit for weeks now,
And begin to think he's died.
His MAIL.TXT is one great big black hole.

I ain't gonna hack on Fahlman's LISP no more,
I ain't gonna hack on Fahlman's LISP no more.
Well he gives you an X-1,
And he puts you on a Perq,
And he asks you with a grin,
"Hey son, how much can you work?"
If I reboot one more time I'll lose my brain.

I ain't gonna hack on Dave Moon's LISP no more,
I ain't gonna hack on Dave Moon's LISP no more.
We had a simple SETF,
But it choked on LDB.
So Lunar Dave done fixed it:
Go look at page eighty three.
The Gang of Five they didn't take a poll.

I ain't gonna hack on Common LISP no more,
I ain't gonna hack on Common LISP no more.
With its tons of sequence functions,
And its lexical scoping,
I've now begun to like it,
But the users are moping:
"Without EXPLODE my life is full of pain."

(harmonica and fade)

________________________________________________


 Jeffrey M. Jacobs
 CONSART Systems Inc.
 Technical and Managerial Consultants
 P.O. Box 3016, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266
 (213)376-3802
 CIS:75076,2603
 BIX:jeffjacobs
 USENET: ·······@well.UUCP